WRITING BLOG: Why I Psych Myself Out Before Writing
- Des Marie
- Aug 21, 2016
- 4 min read
Some of you have been following my little blog here for some time and in turn, know about my writing journey. It’s been a long journey of trial and error. It’s been season after season of learning what works for me, discovering my writing style and preferences, and finding the right story as my hopefully soon to be debut novel. *gulps*
In recent months, I shared about my current work in progress. My main character–let’s call her ‘G’–and I have gotten to know each other and she wanted her crazy story told sooner than I had anticipated. Upon building her story up throughout the outlining phase and then beginning the drafting process, I realized that her story was who I wanted to present to the world first. I immediately got sucked into her world, friends, and adorable surprise pet.
In the last three months, I had determined to fervently work on G’s story and gave myself a deadline of sorts. I am choosing to aim for an early 2017 release. Self-publishing, of course.
Unfortunately, when that decision was made, that is when life decided to be a punk and dump loads and loads of unexpected manure over my personal and my family’s life. Between those fun events, add to that, still running and growing a small business, working a part-time ‘day’ job, and well, my poor G and her friends took a back seat which made my soul weepy.
With those lulls between writing sessions, something else was happening that was infuriating me. Every time I had determined a day of writing, I’d set all my things in front of me, I’d get cozy and create the perfect atmosphere and then….well, then I’d just sit there. Sit and wait. Wait to put my fingers on the damn keyboard and start typing.
WHY WAS I NOT WRITING WORDS?!
On my business YouTube channel, Coffee Reading Writing, we focus a lot on videos about writing. A few videos back, I spoke on two subjects; Procrastination and Writer’s Being Perfectionists.
Both of those things are killers to writers. They are the ultimate cock-blockers.
Today, is one of those days. Luckily, I attempted for the first time this whole Hemingway prescribed, ‘WRITE DRUNK. EDIT SOBER’ method and let me tell you…it works! Well, perhaps, you want to aim for Buzzed Writing. I can’t imagine being flat out Drunk and attempting to even turn on my computer, less write actual, relevant words.
Yesterday, my final word count at 3am was 4,090. More than I thought I’d write so, yay me!
Today, I’m attempting to get another chunk done. Only, as the day has gone by, I’ve been PROCRASTINATING. Like a MoFo! Sure, it probably didn’t help that after my drinking the night before I woke up, clutching the covers, refusing to get out of bed.
Suddenly, I had an epiphany.
I thought, WHY DO I PSYCH MYSELF OUT BEFORE WRITING?
Yes, procrastination is a nasty little parasite. Sure, the desire to string the perfect combination of words keeps me paralyzed over the keyboard (ie. Writer’s shouldn’t be perfectionists). But, there was something else nudging at my productivity and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Then. BAM!
I was watching a YouTube video and it’s a long one. It’s a GamePlay of Hitman. I’m a nerd. I love watching people play cool games. Anyway, I’m watching and not wanting to stop yet. My friend texts me just at that time with this little motivation, good vibes message for me in regards to writing.
I laughed about how I’m having trouble with the whole, “May the internet not distract you,” part. Then she encouraged me further and said, take internet breaks.
Well, duh, Desiree…Right?
Eureka. Moment.
I am such a freaking extremist in every aspect of my life. I’ve learned this about myself more and more in recent years. Desiree, you can write some, then stop, watch the video as a reward, then go back to writing, then have another break.
In fact, I actually mentioned this in the procrastination video; ideas to overcome it and how to use small tasks, every ten minutes followed by a short break reward. So, why is it so hard for me to just follow that tip myself?!!
Cause Desiree doesn’t know how not to throw herself into something 100%. Sure, that’s not always a bad trait to have, but sometimes, that sucker can shoot you in the foot. When I write, I tend to open that document and when I finally begin putting words to a page, I will go at it for HOURS. I’ll go till the wee hours of the night–because I’m definitely nocturnal. I don’t know how to break up my work periods. When I give myself to a project, I go all in with blinders.
Unfortunately, that is why I psych myself out before writing. Subconsciously, it’s like I’m telling my brain,
“Once we start working, no more fun or playtime. Get ready for HOURS of brain crunching.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE WRITING! I love my story, my characters, the events to come. Writing is fun for me. I just need to pull back on the crazy a bit and allow myself to delegate timeframes during my writing for breaks. I’ll start a writing sprint and go hard for hours. But getting to the actual starting point of writing will sometimes take me ALL DAY because I’m in my head.
Anyone else having this, “Light.Bulb” moment about themselves?
So right now, I will go and post this. Then I am going to get back into my document. I will finish the scene I left off on last night. After that, I’ll give myself a 5 min. reward break and watch more of the Hitman Gameplay. (I know. I’m random.)
Well, I just had to get that off my chest. I hope my ramble felt relatable to any of you writers out there. Actually, it can be relevant stuff for just about anyone doing any sort of project out there. The more you know, right? Once you do, you’re aware of it and can take actions to improve the circumstance.
Alright, enough rambling. Off to write! Till next time, friends!
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